Recent Newsletters (Updated Every Sunday)

OnyxDelphi · Lieutenant of the Guard

Recent Newsletters (Updated Every Sunday)

OnyxDelphi · Lieutenant of the Guard

07/05/09

The Kingdom of Taifera

Newsletter

Alliance Count

Vampires

Royalty

(2)

Clergy

(3)

Knights

(3)

Nobility

(4)

Werewolves

Knights

(1)

Barbarians

(3)

Nobility

(1)

Peasants

(0)

Humans

Peasants

(3)

Slaves

(4)

Clergy

(1)

Nobility

(1)

OoC Rantings

Hello faithful members, how're you guys doing today?

...

What? Oh fuck you! Why do I always have to start the newsletter with a snazzy opening? Huh!? I don't see any of you getting off your single white female asses and writing me openers!

Oh?

Well...if you really want to, write me one and I'll feature it in the next newsletter...maybe.

I'm serious!

Anyways...

-clears throat and makes a deep voice. Gives you the "sexy" eye and leans forward looking at you with the "sexy" grin- So...how you doin?

Mmm hmm, I bet.

Nah...the J man only does that on Wednesdays and Thursdays...but if your lucky I'll do it to you tomorrow.

-nods head- Well if you want...I could use ice cream...

Ah! Enough of that now!

SO! How are my children doing today/this morning/this evening/summer solstice/lunar eclipse/this afternoon?

At the moment, the SL is slowly bubbling over like a warm pot of spaghetti on a cold winters night.

Now, what that exactly means...I haven't a clue.

However, I do know that I am pleased with all of you.

And if any of you were here on Friday night, you saw that our chat was filled with 14 mo effin ppl. Which to me is fantastic. We got a few new members, and our name in the AOL RP papers!

Don't you have a subscription?

Also, I personally went through my member list to see who hasn't been playing, and all of you have! In fact...only one of you...-looks at her-...hasn't been around in the chat at all.

-looks at her still-

You know who you are.

Yes.

I'm talking about you.

However, to the rest of you! Keep up the good work and I'll make sure there's cotton candy flavored condoms in your stockings this Christmas.

Also, please keep in mind we have a "Kingdom Events" calendar you can look at to see new members and upcoming events in the SL!

Happy rp-ing!

Co-Mod Commentary

~~No Co-Mod Commentary this week 'cuz Nick was too scaaaared, and PJ is a punk who needs to rp with us more. Everybody, open your IM box or e-mail and copy paste this to them. " -throws a pie at your face- " Good boys and girls!~~

IC Report

-Reporter jumps into the room with a microphone and a sound effects box-

LAST WEEK ON KOT!

-The sounds of people running in and out of shadows, gasps of horror as a royal dressed in rags, no names rp-ing in the room, sexual tension being cut with a butter knife between two wolves, a vampire freaking out and attacking people, and a virgins virtue still in tact CAN BE HEARD!-

-And then the quiet sound of a unicorn farting in the wind-

My oh my! What a week it's been! I don't know about you, but I can certainly feel the pressure up in here!

The past week has especially been hectic for a poor little slave girl named Serina. She's been casually around all the big events...which we'll get to in just a moment, but first!

-screen goes all flash backy white and blacky as two werewolves stroll into Taifera. A skinny guy with sick tattoo and a giant ole woman who looks like she eats babies for her morning protein shake-

Seriously, did anyone else notice these guys besides me?

Anyway...as if life hasn't been hard as it is, poor Nyxia has been running around with our valiant Odd Vesper -music plays- trying to deduce the problems that the kingdom faces. And boy how the rumors have been flying! There's talk that The Shadows might be behind this, or maybe even the suspicious child chancellor, and some thing about drugs being pushed in Taifera!

But not everything has been all peaches and weed. S'know the vampire captain, has been losing his mind. Freaking out over the possibility of being killed due to his inadequate investigation methods, he charged James DeKain and Odd Vesper -music plays- to go on their own paths in order to cast a wider net in finding the killer! Of course, this was after he tried to kill a disrespectful Ruan and was stopped by the High Chancellor.

Odd Vesper -music plays-, the peoples champion vampire, image of all things just and good and equal...hit the ground running. He confronted James and Nyxia in the brothel when they squabbled over buying Serina. He, Odd Vesper -music plays-, in an attempt to spare the poor girl...took her under his temporary custody to help with finding the Prince's Killer. Nyxia later joined his merry band of two, which was followed by the joining of the medic, Taraeni. Thus making his band of three a four. Allowing Odd Vesper -music plays- with his full Final Fantasy clique (A warrior, a slave, a healer, and a thief?) to take measures in their own hands for the investigation.

Of course James hasn't been sitting on his laurels either. He's been looking into Chancellor Nazriel as a suspect to the assassination. Not to mention...he even cuddled once or twice with his new slave. Oh wait...that wasn't cuddling...that was a private session Monday night with *coughs* and ordering her to *hacks* and then paying lots of gold for no one to ever know that he *gags* with *dies* but totally didn't get to *wheezes*.

But no worries, your secrets safe with me.

;)

And so! As the dreary week came to a head, and more citizens turned into real boys and girls and no longer NPCs in the distance, the final confrontation was held in the town square. A starving and no longer recognizable S'know snapped at Serina. Believing she knew more than she was letting on. It was time for her to stop living off of the fat of the land and to fess up.

Scared as a penis in a quickly shutting car door, Serina cattle prodded her memory until a name came to her. A name that Celeste spoke to her about in the brothel earlier that week...Lininder. And with that, S'know came to life and commissioned Odd Vesper -music plays- and Ruan -fart noise- to find this well known Nobility Assassin and capture him alive!

Of course...poor Serina was then sent back to the brothel.

BUT! We just may have our killer yet! Finally, answers to questions unasked! Resolutions to problems very few care about. And to top it all off...I have an announcement from the King!

"As of this Sunday, I, King Denmus Krai, can wait no longer. If the knights alone can not find my son's killer...than the entire kingdom will forfeit a blood atonement. Six members from each caste, chosen at random, will be executed in 14 days if the killer is not brought to justice. If you believe you know who the killer is, please report it to a knight or bring them dead or alive to a knight. A substantial reward will be given."

...

Well...

...well fuck.

I swear it wasn't me!

The Characters of The Week

Every newsletter, two characters in the SL will be chosen by the newsletter staff as those whom have held the most interest, and enjoyable rp overall.

So! This weeks characters are...

Odd Vesper

-music plays-

Why?: Because he's been busting his ass! He's taken S'knows verbal abuse, fed a slave chocolate, joined up with three more people in a quest for justice...and somehow on top of it all...managed to still find time to get DRUNK!

Next...

Serina Whethers

Why?: Yes sweet girl, they told you you would never amount to anything. That you'd be some frail slave for the rest of your life. But look at you! Stealing red dresses that were actually bought for you (so in turn stolen from you). Having not one, or two but three people fighting for your freedom. You witnessed the almost epic murder of Ruan and passed out. Then you ate a whole tub of chocolate (fat ass). And in the end, you still managed not to get killed, eaten, or broom raped. Good for you!

Congratulations to this week's hard workers!

So who will be the next newsletter all stars? Will it be you?

The Hands of fate

Every week, two characters in the SL will be chosen at random to suffer a good or bad twist, by “fate.”

What does this mean?

Well…

It means that your house could catch fire!

Or that your car could break down!

Or…

It could also mean that you win an audience with the royal family!

Or that you find a bag of gold!

You never know, because you can't control fate.

It’s our little way of effecting your characters without you always controlling what happens.

And I assure you. Both the characters chosen and what happens to them is all done at random by the newsletter staff. And for whatever reason, if you don't want to be apart of the fun, let OnyxDelphi know to remove you from the drawing...you big poop head.

Also, if your character should be affected by the Hand of Fate. Make sure you include it in your IC role play!

So! Now to the juicy stuff!

This weeks chosen…

Wolfgang Nightingale

Fate: Good

While moving back into Taifera after ending your epic long journey...elsewhere...you find out that your grandmother died! And where that should be sad, the old bat who supposedly "touched" you as a child, left you a ton of cash! Now you can open up that shop for that baby eater you have a crush on!

Next…

Edward Demarque

Fate: Good

Who says the justice system never fails? while everybody was out and about, your drugs have started to make a name for themselves. In fact, for the next week alone, anyone who takes one of your drugs will gain a permanent extra point to their power or speed...as well as a hell of an addiction! Get tah pushin!

OnyxDelphi · Lieutenant of the Guard

07/13/09

The Kingdom of Taifera

Newsletter

Alliance Count

Vampires

Royalty

(3)

Clergy

(3)

Knights

(3)

Nobility

(5)

Werewolves

Knights

(1)

Barbarians

(3)

Nobility

(4)

Peasants

(1)

Humans

Peasants

(3)

Slaves

(5)

Clergy

(1)

Nobility

(1)

OoC Rantings

::Justin would walk down the hallways of cold color blue, and blinding ceilings of white. A chill would run up his spine, as he noticed the air conditioner was on higher than usual. Walking past a room Justin would find his opposite laying helplessly in a bed with monitors, and needles hooked up to him. A brunette was beside him looking rather pale and sullen. He would continue walking down the hallways, this time in a different sector, and would come across a door half open. Walking into the room he would find the light off, and the room even colder than the hallways. Justin would flip the light switch, and his eyes would grow large. Tears forming he would be heard mumbling "no...no...why, no..." He would move up to the still figure and try to remove the plastic bag, but his hands would only move through her body as if he was a ghost. He could not intervene. He could not have interaction within this world. Justin would close his eyes, and re-open them in front of his computer screen.::

::Heavy Breathing:: Well, good day you guys. Looks like its time for another newsletter.

And that's right! This past weeks theme has apparently been about death.

With characters dying left and right, and even Taser67 ending up in the hospital! Oh noes! Death seems to be our battle buddy.

Anyone else ready to kick him to them curb?

However, let me first just give each and everyone of you guys a naked half five for the awesome rp that's been going on all week. I wake up, BAM, rp. I go to sleep, BAM, rp. Heck, I go to the bathroom and BAM, poop.

...

AND RP!

So to reward you all. I made cookies!

But I eated it.

u.u

On another topic, due to our impressively increasing number of members...I am instituting mandatory Brothers and Sisters for all new members. This is the critical point in time where someone new will join and completely become lost. I've already seen signs of this, and it heavily bothers me.

So if you'd like a single bonus point to your weakest charrie skill, then volunteer! I will actually expect you to talk to and rp with the members we send your way. And if you only show up for the hand job and bonus point, and don't actually help the newbies...I'll be forced to say "poop" again.

Don't push me.

Oh...and I'll kick you in teh nutz0rs/Vaginis.

Also, Chapter One of our Story Line is now complete. The full written chapter will be posted on the site within the week.

And lastly. Here is an overview of this weeks events!

Monday: OoC Orgy* Madness

Tuesday : Brothel Night...at the Brothel!

Wednesday: Masquerade Ball at the Castle, starting at 7 EST.

Thursday: IC Orgy* Madness

Friday: Colosseum Fridays

Saturday: End of Week OoC and IC Orgy* Extravaganza

Sunday: God's Day. You buncha sinners...with your orgies...

*Orgies are completely made up and won't happen unless you know lulipopz

in which case its on like Donkey Kong! But seriously...being naked and rp-ing is totally freeing. Trust me.

IC Report

Lets just go ahead and say what everyone is clearly thinking. If you talk to Tarae...you will either die or be accused of murder!

There! I said it.

-eyes Tarae-

She demon.

Of course, if you're not dying from your "howdy doo" with the "healer." Then you're having stress related episodes! That's right, its time for the next episode of everyone's favorite slave. On HBO Sunday nights at 8 and 8:01...

...ladies and gentlemen...

...she's human, she's a virgin, and she looooves chocolate...

iiiiiitttttt'sssss The Serina Whethers Show!

This week on the Serina Whethers show, the slave girl unfortunately found herself back home with Mistress dearest, Celeste!

And on the full moon, the poor child met with Oria! Oria was feeling...kinda funny seeing as how she has issues with fur in weird places, and she scared the be-Allah out of Serina! The girl actually fainted!

-laugh track-

But the hijinks didn't end there. Sweet old She-Demon, Tarae swung by and bought her for Master Odd Vesper. Of course, that was after taking her to the Cattle Tavern where the girl saw another girl being served as a drink. It was so scary it freaked the be-Buddha out of her! And guess what boys and girls!? She fainted!

-black audience laugh track-

That's what you're hearing? Racists.

Having finally found Vesper, she pilfered his change jar (because we keep loose gold and silver coins in jars before we take them to the vampire bank) and went shopping. Then...she did it again the next day!

Of course you got those shoes with your bread for free.

Silly girl!

-Asian audience laugh track-

No...idea what this sounds like.

And then to top it all off, she embarrassed herself in front of the King During petition day! She fell flat on her face, and when questioned for what she wanted...she asked for...you guessed it...Chocolate!

Oh Serina. You crazy kid.

Of course, not everyone could have as much fun as our peasant princess.

Ulliam spent a whole day describing his house!

@.@

Too crazy for my blood. Jesus, the drugs that guy is smokin.

But then there's also Nyxia and her continued Mother Teresa quest to restore order to Taifera. Whether your a lost little slave girl (with a super hot ass!), or even a crazy vampire knight who thinks he's batman and like to "whip it out" on people!

...

What?

NO! His sword! You sickos.

Hee hee. Penis.

And dare we forget her majesty? The queen is finally back from her romp around the world learnin teh magicks. Too bad she got home just in time to find out her kid is dead.

Total...drag.

Not too mention, the king isn't exactly diggin her aerobics instructor. Mister fancy smancy elf name with magick books.

(insert derogatory word here)

.Attention all humans who are tired of being treated like shit by the vampires. Its time for the revolution to take place. The Shadows needs you. Be apart of the future. Of equality. Meet Dagoon Jibi at Ethrills Tavern with the password "golem." Prepare to be tested.

So then, when you're not getting dunked in alcohol and served to vampires, or making free dresses for women because your the best damn male tailor here...guess what's happening to you?

That's right!

You get squashed to death by a tree golem! Or such was the case with Ruan, the poor dead princes ex- bodyguard.

But for those of you out of the loop. Congratulations! "Chapter One: The Death of a Prince" is now officially over.

Here are the bullet points of what happened:

o Prince Alexai was found murdered

o. The King spazzed and ordered his killer found.

o. Tons of people were accused including High Chancellor Nazriel.

o. The Brothel Owner and Serina figured out a possible suspect.

o. The suspect (a murdering elf named Lininder) turned out to be the killer!

o. Lininder than pointed out that he was hired by a human named Aiyayah.

o. Aiyayah turned out to be a Shadow Member who said he was paid to hire someone to kill the Prince.

o. Instead of being arrested, he poisoned himself and dropped the last clue as to who may be the main person responsible, "Nexu." Which we've come to learn...is the quiet power that runs through

Nazriels blood.

And Nazriel and the Prince were known to be enemies.

I think we have our Mastermind!

So now, Chapter Two Begins:

"Dawn of the Uprising."

The Characters of The Week

Every newsletter, two characters in the SL will be chosen by the newsletter staff as those whom have held the most interest, and enjoyable rp overall.

So! This weeks characters are...

Wolfgang Nightingale

Why?: Because he hasn't just been making pretty clothes for the ladies! He's hunted down a 1 ton monster and managed to convince it not to kill him! On top of that, he pissed the King off by asking for a puppy and to dress him properly...and well...that just takes some serious balls.

Next...

Ruan

Why?: Because you found the princes journal linking him to Nazriel. You loved him dearly and he died on you! You stood up to S'know and almost died. You did your research and discovered Lininder all on your own even though no one listened to you. And then to top it all off, you died like a an old school G. Rest in peace. You will be missed...um...Ruan whatever your last name was...

Congratulations to this week's hard workers!

So who will be the next newsletter all stars? Will it be you?

The Hands of fate

Every week, two characters in the SL will be chosen at random to suffer a good or bad twist, by “fate.”

What does this mean?

Well…

It means that your house could catch fire!

Or that your car could break down!

Or…

It could also mean that you win an audience with the royal family!

Or that you find a bag of gold!

You never know, because you can't control fate.

It’s our little way of effecting your characters without you always controlling what happens.

And I assure you. Both the characters chosen and what happens to them is all done at random by the newsletter staff. And for whatever reason, if you don't want to be apart of the fun, let OnyxDelphi know to remove you from the drawing...you big poop head.

Also, if your character should be affected by the Hand of Fate. Make sure you include it in your IC role play!

So! Now to the juicy stuff!

This weeks chosen…

Nazriel Ancalime

Fate: Bad

While working on your Rune Stone weapons for the king, you end up mixing the wrong concoction in your lab in an effort to make the weapons stronger. The mixture causes the lab and you to blow up. Don't worry, you lived. But now you're fresh out of Rune stones! And those are virtually impossible to find.

Next…

Kristen Hillsbrig

Fate: Bad

You're pregnant.

OnyxDelphi · Lieutenant of the Guard

07/19/09

The Kingdom of Taifera

Newsletter

Alliance Count

Vampires

Royalty

(3)

Clergy

(1)

Knights

(1)

Nobility

(6)

Werewolves

Knights

(2)

Barbarians

(3)

Nobility

(6)

Peasants

(1)

Humans

Peasants

(5)

Slaves

(8)

Clergy

(2)

Nobility

(3)

OoC Rantings

We did it! We actually did it! We have 25 members!

Three years ago this would be no big deal, but naye! Nowadays we mourn the loss of our dear Lady Role Play and are forced to be content with her bitchy whore sister Mz. Bottom Feeding.

Pfffft. No one uses "Mz." anymore.

Skank. >.>

My point is, we live in a time where an SL like this is hardly existent. So understand this clearly...I stick behind my values of quality over quantity. Any and all layabouts will be removed. Just that simple.

So! Lets be proud! 90% of our members are active, and the other 10% I will soon be kicking, yay!

In other news. Chapter Two is moving right along and you should see the plot thicken greatly within the next week.

The site is all neat and tidy with new monsters up...talk of a new map, and even a few polls added to the OoC page.

Besides that...I surprisingly have nothing to say this week. Besides a resounding thank you to all my members for making a paradise out of KoT! I promise it will only keep growing and getting better so long as this keeps up!

Lastly. Here is an overview of this weeks events!

Monday: Teaurtei's Tea Party! Starting around 7 EST.

Tuesday : Brothel Night...at the Brothel! Half off on Hoe...downs...

Wednesday: Hump Day Orgy* Humping!

Thursday: IC Orgy* Madness

Friday: Colosseum Fridays

Saturday: End of Week OoC and IC Orgy* Extravaganza

Sunday: Petition Day!

*Orgies are completely made up and won't happen

unless...you love me...than you'll do it.

IC Report

-ducks a flying fist-

What!? What did I do!???

-Ducks another fist-

C'mon Kingy! It's not that serious!

-Dodges an attack-

JESUS! I'M SORRY DENMUS!

-Denmus waits-

Fiiiine...your Raziell, and James DeKain skull bracelet looks very nice with the bedazzler enhancement.

-Denmus waits-

Ugggh...and I want one too! Happy!?

-Denmus skips away-

Duuuude! When they said the Masquerade ball was going to be the party of the year, I have to admit...I was like...

"Pshaw! Whateva my vigga (get it!?)! Clearly you've never been to a party in my pants."

And then I show up right!? And there's tons of food, dancing, an...elf...and the king making some announcement to a couple of vampires.

Clearly you saw me. I was the guy dressed up as a Squirrel...

...

...lookin to get a NUT!

BOOM!

Black Penis!

...

Anyone?

Fine.

Anyway, so there he was! The King was being all Rico Suave and suddenly this thirteen year old kid starts shoutin shit! I don't remember what he said. Something about how he wet his pants at night and that Denmus was a dirty fucking democrat and everybody knew it.

Well! Denmus rushed down the stairs and in front of EVERYONE, Ike's the shit out of Tina Turner!

But apparently Rihanna doesn't know how to shut the fuck up and he keep mouthin off. And everyone's like daaaaaamn. And I'm like "Oh Shit! Here it goes!"

And then...it happened! Denmus threw the kid against the wall. Said some bad ass action flick line like:

"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."

or

"They call me Mr. Tibbs!"

or

"Silly Caucasian girl likes to play with samurai swords."

ooooh or even...

"Here's lookin at you kid."

And BAM, fist through face.

...

The rest of the night was totally boring after that.

Of course...later that week...James DeKain starts talkin shit to the queen.

And Denmus was all like "Whaaat? Vigga is you serious?"

-jingles little boy skull necklace-

And BAM, fist through face!

Then of course, he and the Queen totally shagged on the body.

The lesson here is simple...don't be rude to the King. It makes him cranky.

But seriously! By a show of hands, who out there believes me now!? Taraeni IS INDEED A SHE DEMON!

She met Ruan, and he gets crushed by a tree golem. She meets the kid and he totally got his face a'sploded. And bam, she gets within ten feet of James and he gets Owned!

This is clearly why she's in the capitol learning the magicks. She obviously feels so guilty that she has to learn how to prevent her encounters turning into road kill. I'm telling you. Stay away from that one!

Of course, this week on the Serina Whethers show...the crazy kid dun got herself drunk and lost in the woods! This then lead to her fighting with a pack of crows and being attacked by a werewolf! It bit into her ankle but she managed to fend it off just long enough for a mysterious naked man to come to her rescue! She now lies worn and ragged in the woods, barely patched up but apparently sick. Oria tried to rescue her, but...lets just say the song "Aint Nothing But Mammals" comes to mind.

ODD! She's still out there! Keep track of your slave!!!!

Speaking of...Odd Vesper is now the Captain of the Guard! He got promoted! What kind of changes will befall Taifera? Will it become a much safer place to live? Or will he be an iron grip under King Denmus's authority?

Of course...the rest of the week went a little like this: A drunkard and klutz spilled beer everywhere, an albino rolled into town during a sandstorm, a wolfess is totally jonesing something bad for some hot elf ass, Nyxia has minions and another broken ankle, Dagoon has a mysterious guest visitor, Ulliam is totally pissed at his lying daughter, and Teaurtei is throwing a Tea party and you're all invited!

Although that doesn't explain how Nihilus will take the news that there's a warrant for his arrest.

A powerful cleric pushed into a corner? Yeah...that doesn't sound bad at all.

What's that? He has a hidden dilemma and he's very short tempered?

Nah. It'll be fine.

What's the worst that could happen?

So yeah...besides that...

...

...hey

...you.

Look over there.

-points at the van that says "free candy"-

Don't be a pussy. The guy's probably legit.

What a weird way to exit right?

OnyxDelphi · Lieutenant of the Guard

07/25/09

The Kingdom of Taifera

Newsletter

OoC Rantings

-Walks into the room holding a blue ball-

We're going to play a game kiddies. Throw this blue, red, and yellow ball at another SL member. And do not tell anyone whom you've already thrown it to. You can only throw the ball an hour after you get it, and NEVER to someone you've thrown it to already. To the first three people to get a ball three times of the same color, e-mail me!

-Throws the blue ball at Timeless Howl-

-Throws the red ball at LonestarShowmen-

-Throws the yellow ball at tales unwritten-

Next, let me start this newsletter off by saying...

-plays "Shoop" by Salt N Pepa-

...We Da Bomb Ya'll!

Have you seen how many people are in our room versus the other SL rooms on AOL?

I think its safe to say, We Da Best! That's right I said it. We have the very best SL on AOL going...

...in terms of active members...and dare I say SL site layout?

Yes. -says it-

We. Are. The. Best. Story. Line. On. AOL!!!

-break dances and Shimmies-

Oh yeah!

Onto the next order of business, I would like to start off by saying that this SL is the only SL I've ever had where I've gone two newsletters in a row without yelling at anybody. Epic. You all, are epic.

Starting Sunday night or Monday morning, look to the SL to see if your charrie pic has been removed! If it has it means you don't rp enough and you have one week to contact me or get it together. After one week, you're charrie will be gone. I'm a nice guy, talk to me!

The last order of the OoC this week, and most important, is in regards to OoC Jobs.

From now on, when an approved application is sent to me, I will personally be assigning Big Bros/Sisters to the new members. I don't want anyone lost in the crowd.

I also need more Beast Handlers!

So there, I am asking for more volunteers!

NOW!

I can not stress how important it is to make sure everyone meshes with the SL upon entry, please aid me in achieving this goal. And should you want to do so, please stop reading this newsletter and send me an e-mail ASAP!

-waits-

-goes to the bathroom-

-fights the evil toilet golem-

-iz victorious-

-comes back with the legendary bathroom princess-

Lastly. Here is an overview of this weeks events!

Monday: Monday Night Orgy Madness*

Tuesday : Brothel Night...at the Brothel! Half off on Hoe...downs...

Wednesday: New members night! Come hang out and get acquainted IC and OoC!

Thursday: Weekly Shadows Meeting! All humans welcome.

Friday: Colosseum Fridays

Saturday: End of Week OoC and IC Orgy* Extravaganza

Sunday: No orgies on this day...you buncha sinners...

*Orgies are completely made up and won't happen

unless...you love me...than you'll do it.

IC Report

This week on the Real World...Taifera!

Well it all started when Tea and Marcus got together one night for some drinks.

Like, everything was going smoothly, ya know. When suddenly this wicked cool vampire knight comes out of know where and starts freaking out about public drunkenness.

And all I could think about was, like, whoa, this chick totally reminds me of that one traveling troupe of actors called "Blood Rayne."

Well apparently when cupcake and marlus started disagreeing, teacake showed Blood Rayne a boo boo she had. Which sent the hungry vampire into a mad blood lust which lead to her breaking teapots hand.

Of course it totally didn't end there because a few days later, Teriyaki, Marco, and Xena got into another confrontation! But it was like totally cool because Odd Vesper showed up like some super hero and was like...

"Yo dudes. If you're gonna be bitchin in the streets about stuff that's not even righteous man, then you all gotta live in one house! Whatever happens to one of you, will happen to all of you. So learn to get a long."

So this is the true story...of three strangers...picked to live in a house...work together and have their lives taped...to find out what happens...when people stop being polite...and start getting real...The Real World...Taifera!

On the bright side of things however, Serina and Oria are safely home! Of course Serina is broken and bruised in the clinic, and Oria has some strong personal decisions to make. All I can say is...

-prays-

...I hope to god she's pregnant!

Aside from that, the Kings most treasured day to bitch and moan would be a total blasty blast. The ever resilient slave Serina would beg for new supplies for Taraeni's clinic. A wolf boy would be threatened to be thrown in jail, having been warned that his fate would be sealed based on the verdict of the next knight who looked into his case. Andrea the human albino would offer her services to the King only to find her self sentenced to be fed upon at Carthax's for a week. A "special" person got her request to have a wolf punished, and Wolfgang won the honor of marrying Kris...in public!

All in all it was a decent Petition Day...until The Band of Three arrived and made it even better.

The BoT just so happens to be a famous group of werewolves known across Fallax as being epic level monster hunters. And with the death of the prince being placed on the shoulders of Nazriel...King Denmus summoned "The Band" to go and bring his son's murderer home...either with a wicked cool air band showdown to defeat and surrender, or a dance off to the death.

That is of course, as soon as the King figures out where Nazriel is. In the mean time, the human Ymir and the wolf Dracian were given to them as slaves. Along with free use of the Brothel slaves and half off on all Kingdom wide goods.

However, on the other side of the globe, Nazriel would find he had his own support. A few days prior to P Day, Naz would find himself trapped in a rather large ice dome. Left to die by the ice golem who left the fight to track down his brother the fire golem, and kill him. After an hour of imprisonment...when things began to look their bleakest, someone showed up with enough magickal power to burn an escape route...Dagoon Jibi. After a rather harsh discussion the old hag explained to the High Chancellor about the warrant for his arrest. Wishing to see him safe...an old family favor finally repaid...she whisked the boy away to a place where she promised him great power.

So who will prevail?

Will the Band of Three capture and bring Nazriel to the King without a fight?

If they do fight him, will they survive now that Dagoon Jibi is protecting him?

Will we ever finally learn the secret between Nazriel and the dead prince Alexai?

And will Kris and Oria finally find out that the babys daddy is the narrator???

Find out this week!

...

On the Real World...Taifera!

THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE UGLY

By:

The Ladies of Paper

Lady One: "INTRO'S!"

Lady Two: "Gah...it's not that exciting..."

Lady One: "Shuddup...any ways...I'm Lady One....and the other lady...."

Lady Two: "Lady Two....yo."

Lady One: "So, we're new to this, but plan on making this the bestest Charries of the Week and Hands of Fate! Praise Jesus!"
Lady Two: "Praise Jesus? What the hell is wrong with you?" -Shoves Lady One in a cage-

Lady One: "Hey! Let me out! Sunshine and rainbows oh my!"

Lady Two: "Any ways...so, we've got a couple of characters who flew to the top of the SL's radar. May want to watch out for these two in the future. Up first we hav-...."

Lady One: "...Taraeni Rionshi! My my what a busy girl we've got here! She went and put her thinkin cap on, before going to get extra training, growing in magic! She did so much she reached level 5!"

Lady Two: "What a regular bookworm...any ways...Taraeni also came back from studying to beds full of patients...whom she took care of. Regular goody two shoes....blah..."

Lady One: "YAY FOR GOODNESS!"

Lady Two: "Any ways...looks like the ladies of the group are winning this week. Up next we have Dekora Adabi....a Knight. She's been rather busy. She recently met three new people at Tea's party; Tea herself, Marcus, and Ymir. She's also been setting up a plot for seeking more information without drawing attention to herself. Sneaky wench she is..."

Lady One: "...Oh hush! She has been seeking more information, and apparently a new acquaintance *CoughMarcusCough*...is going to help her do just that...for a price of course. Ooo...spy stuff, love it! There was also a confrontation that got pretty nasty, leaving Dekora wanting to kill Tea in revenge of being embarrassed in public in front of a beggar. She also caught up with Odd, her father figure later that night, and..."

Lady Two: "...Lets just say....before we get the readers sleeping...that Dekora has been quite the busy Knight. Meh...stupid."

Lady One: "Now we rate them! What do we think of Taraeni?"

Lady Two: "Ugh...unbelievably Good, makes me sick. And Dekora?"

Lady One: "I think she's kinda bad...being sneaky, getting into fights...But she makes for interesting RP!"

Lady Two: "Ugh...now time for the Hands of Fate....hopefully they're both bad...I can't stand good things."

Lady One: "Yay! Tune in next week for our next The Good, The Bad, The Ugly! Keep posting, we'll keep commenting!...Party at my house! We'll have cheese and crackers and punch...Oh my!!!!"

Lady Two: "....DIE!" -Throws knives at Lady One-

THE WHEEL OF FATE
Every week, two characters in the SL will be chosen at random to suffer a good or bad twist, by "The Wheel of Fate!"
Also, if your character should be affected by the Wheel of Fate. Make sure you include it in your IC role play!

Lady One: "Hehe...she thinks I died. As if...any ways....the first effected by fate is...."

Lord Uilliam Socard

Fate: Good

Wheel Number Landed: 1
While walking down the street, he comes across something shiny (Ooo..purty) near a trash can. What is it? A bag of gold! He could give it to the bum sleeping a few trash cans down...or...keep it!

Lady Two: "You're not dead! What the hell!!! Oh....and Liam's fate is good!? And the dude of wealth finds GOLD!? What the hell..."

Lady One: "...Uh...next effected by fate..."

Cadence Reves de Sang

Fate: Bad

Wheel Number Landed: 2
Cadence leaves a shop with a brand new awesome mirror, but just as she steps outside, she trips....and breaks it! But not to worry...it was a little mirror, so instead of seven years, she only gets seven days of bad luck! That's right! For the next 7 days, nothing but bad luck is going to happen to you!

Lady Two: "Way to be positive....way to be positive."

The End!