I have been in Taifera for over a year now. So many things have happened. Sadly nothing is ever as it seems. I have been subject to forced mating, the object of twisted fascination, and truly mated. Or so I thought.

I find I write this because there is no where to turn. Who could I speak to? Certainly not kristen, despite her kind heart. She had pups this last year, lost her mate to make way for our king. Beyond that, she shared her mate with me so that I might have pups of my own. Though it was a success, and I am pregnant, sharing my thoughts might only hurt her.

I certainly cannot speak to my fahter about any of this. Though he'd be delighted to know the outcome, I do not know that  my heart could funny appreciate it. He never cared for Marvin being my mate. The fact that he was human has rubbed my fahter the wrong way from the very beginning. Our relationship is better, but our views are far too different.

I wouldn't dare say any of this to Reinhold either. He is far too new to my life. He is also part of the problem. Shortly after the king's summoning, and the loss of Wolfgang, Marvin and I were taken as pisoners. Taken from our home! A lesson they were going to teach us, for sharing love, for trying to be mates despite the differences. For seeking help to have our pups. They whipped us, cut us, and when we made an attempt at escaping, Marvin was lost to me.

I should have died that night. We all should have. But Reinhold saved me. Me and my pups. We spent a night together. Not as mates, but it was different. He took great care in cleaning my wounds and seeing to my comfort. We spent the evening hunting, and again, he took care of my special circumstances and met my needs.

Now we are home and I am safe. Yet I find I am torn in my feelings. My heart mourns the loss of Marvin. My body recognizes something in Reinhold that I do not understand. He is claiming me as his mate and I find I do not want to stop him. Shouldn't I want to stop him? Shouldn't I fear his ways? He makes me want to be the wolf that's inside. It goes against my upbringing.

I feel confused and alive and ready to have these pups. They have a sister and brother waiting. A king to meet. A world to explore and change for the better.